A letter to New Zealand's Version of Dear Abby: (an advice column)

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I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the suburb
of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is
married to an Australian.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and
selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who
are prostitutes in Auckland.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life
sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland, for the murder of a
teenage boy in 1994, the other currently being held in the
Wellington remand center on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who
lives in Christchurch and indeed is still a part time "working girl"
in a brothel, however, her time there is limited as she
has recently been infected with an STD.

We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into
the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiance utilizing
her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my
two sisters would be interested in joining our team. Although I would
prefer them not to prostitute themselves at least it would get them
off the streets and hopefully the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her
into the family and of course I want to be totally honest with her.
Should I tell her about my brother-in-law being employed by Microsoft?