WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD.......???

KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.

PLATO: For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let
it take.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares
why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around all over the place, anyway?"

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will
not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents,
and balance your checkbook.

OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"

DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally
selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross
roads.

EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it transcended
it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.