When I went to City Hall to renew my dog's license, I told the clerk I wanted a license
for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too!"

Then I said, "But this is a dog."

He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand. I've
had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked at me and said, "You must have been quite
a kid."

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the hotel
clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, "You
don't need a special room for Sex. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do."

I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at nigth."

The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem."

Well, one day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog
got loose and ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there,
looking disappointed. I told him that I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He said,
"Wonderful! If you sell tickets, you'll up!"

"But you don't understand," I said. "I want to have Sex on TV." He said, "They already
have that on cable. It's no big deal anymore."

Well, my wife and I decided to separate, so we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.

I said to the judge, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The
court is not a confessional. Please stick to the facts." Then I told him that after I was
married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."

Well, last night Sex ran away again, and I spent hours looking all over town for him.
A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 O'clock in the
morning?" I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up on Friday.