WHY DID FORD PUT HEATERS IN THE TAILGATES OF THEIR NEW TRUCKS?

To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop.


WHY ARE THERE SIDEWALKS BESIDE MOST STREETS AND HIGHWAYS?

So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.


HOW IS A GOLF BALL DIFFERENT FROM A FORD?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards!


FORD ACRONYMS:

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road Dead

Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot

Factory Ordered Road Disaster

Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge(Datsun)

Flip Over Read Directions

Four Old Rusted Doors

Fixed On Race Day

Ford Owner Really Dumb

For Only Retarded Drivers

Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse - French for ordinary
fabrication expensive repairs.

Ford Owners Recommend Dodge

Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy

Found On Russian Dump

For Off Road Death

Fat Old Rusted Dog

Funky Old Road Dog

Found On Roadside Destroyed

Backwards...Don't Ride Over Fifty

Fixed-up Old Repossesed Dodge

Found Old Rebuilt Dodge

Forget OutRunning Dale

Found On Railroad Deserted

Found On Railroad Dead


PINTO ACRONYMS:

Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook

Put In New Transmission Often

Put In Nickel To Operate


MUSTANG ACRONYMS:

Massively Under-Sized Tires And No Go


LINE FROM A SONG SUNG BY A FAMOUS COUNTRY SINGER

"I wanta buy me a Ford truck and push it up and down the road."


This is Chevy country and on a quiet night you can hear a Ford rust...


A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and
said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop."
The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on
and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her
eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with
me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl
turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!!"


Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn't for our Fords,
our tools would rust.


Buy a Ford and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.


Have you driven over a Ford lately?


Ford trucks the worst always rest


My parents just bought me a Ford Mustang. "So what did you do to them
to tick them off?"


I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.


WHY ARE THE NEW FORD TRUCKS MORE AERODYNAMIC?

So they will save the Chevy gas when the Chevy tows them away.


WHAT SHOULD THE FORD MUSTANG REALLY BE CALLED?

The Ford Rustang


WHY IS THIS COUNTRY SO FAR IN DEBT?

Because the President drives a Ford


WHAT DID THE CHEVY SAY TO THE FORD?

Would you like a tow home?


HOW CAN THEY APPROVE THE NEW FORD TRUCK?

Put a Chevy engine in it.


HOW MUCH WOOD CAN A FORD TRUCK HAUL IF A FORD TRUCK COULD HAUL WOOD?

As much as the Chevrolet tow truck in front of it.


WHAT SHOULD A FORD THUNDERBIRD REALLY BE CALLED?

A ford thunderturd


SPEED KILLS
DRIVE A FORD
LIVE FOR EVER


HOW DO YOU DOUBLE THE VALUE OF A PINTO?

Fill it with gas!


Ford Escort Me To A Chevrolet Dealer.


Have you outdriven a Ford lately?


WHAT SHOULD A FORD TAURUS REALLY BE CALLED?

A Ford Tortious


If Ford mean's(First on race day) It is only because it is still there
from the last race day.


WHAT'S WORSE THAN DRINKING FROM THE TOLIET?

Driving a Ford


Dusk to dusk
Hump to hump
There went
The ford in
The dump.


From the past 10 years about 90% of Ford trucks are still on the road,
the other 10% made it home.


Ford Explorer=Ford Exploder


WHY ARE FORD DEALERS GIVING AWAY A FREE GERMAN SHEPARD PUPPY WITH EVERY NEW TRUCK?

So the owners will have someone to walk home with.


Built Ford tough with Chevy stuff!!


WHY DO THE NEW F-150'S HAVE LARGER SCALE BUMPERS?

It makes it easier on the tow truck.


DID YOU KNOW THAT FORD HAS A NEW MAGNETIZED BUMPER?

They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.


The people who say they would rather push a ford than drive a chevy, usually do.


A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he
had, how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young
man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just
how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat
and said to the young man "Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I
can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still
not get to the other side of my property by sundown".

The young man shot back quickly, "Oh yeah, I knowwhat you mean, I used
to own a Ford truck too"!


WHAT SHOULD THE FORD PROBE REALLY BE CALLED?

The Ford Problem!