<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:

A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The
tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is
working fine."

Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"

Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"

Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me on this diskette?"

I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that start
something like this:
Customer: "Hi. Is this the Internet?"

Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to "The Internet."

Customer: "So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh...uh...uh...yeah."

Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows--because of the icons--I'm a
Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it
was meant to --"
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in
icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a
file cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [click]

Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash--it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my
spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"